


High, to Keep From Missing You

by Sasha797



Category: True Blood
Genre: F/M, Love, Mystery, Recovered Memories, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8806087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasha797/pseuds/Sasha797
Summary: A wondering addict is found with Godric's blood. Hate, shame, and sexual tension keep these two from seeing what it really means to be in love. What will happen to their forgotten memories? Will Godric ever forgive himself? Will he ever let himself be happy again? The story unravels, and these two will find that they had much more in common than they first thought.





	1. The Wondering Addict

CHAPTER 1

 

_The Wondering Addict_

Sounds jump at me, calling me, screaming my name. This noise crawls deep inside me, straight to my soul, controlling me like a ventriloquist does a puppet. Colorful lights sweep the room, making their rounds like guardians of the vibrant music.

 

Creatures thrash to the toxic volume, females eagerly calling attention to their bodies. The mass of dancers grind on each other, void of thought, just enjoying themselves. Being the jealous type, I grab the nearest body, not caring if it was a human, vampire, or dwarf.

 

My victim of the night is a handsome male shifter drowning in large tanned muscles. Circling my hips, I glide down his body and ease myself up with an inhuman grace. His eyes search me hungrily, promising an after show. His hands trail up and down my sides, teasing me, tempting me to stay.

 

Just as the weight of the hypnotic music sinks in, a hand makes its way to my arm, temporarily breaking my trance. My delectable partner is shooed away, and I'm left surrounded by sudden screaming.

 

I accept my new dance partner by wrapping my leg around their body, swaying my hips side to side. I roll my head back in time with the music, grinding sensually against her hips.

 

"Oh, this one's definitely on V." She shouts over the loud music.

 

“Hush now, just enjoy the melody!” I can’t help but laugh at her accusation.

 

"Take her in!" More dreary shouting. These people don’t know how to have fun.

 

I'm dragged towards the exit, voicing my discomfort the whole way. The music finally dies to a dull static from the silent speakers, reality taking its place.

 

The buzzkills in blue lean close to each other, conspiring against me. They plot my demise with plans of sobriety and rehab clinics but by the time they realize I’m not in the system, I’ll already be gone.

 

Time escapes me, only for a moment, and a vision takes over. I can almost recognize his face. His kind words, his stupid laugh, his mischievous grin…. He'd get me out of here. He wouldn't let anyone touch me like this. No one could glance my way without his permission.

 

I'm slapped back to the true realm, where he isn't real, where he is only a dream. He's gone now, without a trace of evidence to prove he even existed.

 

The van moves, away from my imagination and away from Club Del Faux. I'm slowly coming down from my high, and there is more reality than the precious time skips I crave. I don't want to be here. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to be with him.

 

I blink a few times before a face takes my focus. Their lips are moving, but whatever sounds he's trying to make are barely audible.

 

"This one seems to be mixing her stuff. She reeks of marijuana, and like she walked out of a liquor store that just had an earthquake." He sounds like he's miles away, but his words are still clear.

 

"I smell like –hic- raspbberrieisss" I slur half-heartedly, searching the well-manicured lawn for an appropriate place to clear my stomach. I settle for a random patch of grass, not having much time to find a better place, and relieve my stomach of its unsightly pressures.

 

I don't need to look up to see the disgust on their faces; their expressions are penetrating the back of my head. Hands are placed on my shoulders by one of the soldiers in blue, pulling my long blonde hair from my face.

 

She pushes me, guiding me through a long corridor, then finally down a set of stairs. I stumble, but the hands are firm, keeping me up. We make it to a stark white room, with one other door. The officer lifts me into a foldout chair. She grabs for my wrists, and I let her, now studying her soft, dark caramel hands.

 

She leaves, and I see she left me a present on each wrist. I look at the jewelry in awe, admiring the sparkling metal and –wait, where's my purse?

 

"Your purse has been taken for evidence; you will receive it after telling us where you got the V and what your intentions were for the amount you had." I must have mumbled that out loud, because here in front of me is a hot dude in pressed white linens answering my thoughts.

 

A little young, but I could work around that. He has a small nose and a strong jaw line. Overall soft features that haven’t grown to their full shape. His small lips form a stiff line, signifying his overall unhappiness. His eyes are a stunning gray, a gene almost considered to be extinct. His eyebrows are pressed forward in frustration. What’s got him so upset?

 

The paleness of his face and the way he held his breath told me he was a vampire. Hot and dangerous. There was once a time that he would have scared me, but here I am, feeling invincible.

 

"Oh noooo…" I whine, tearing up. I’m thinking of danger, which means I’m sobering up. Less of the dreams come to me, and I'm stuck in this fascist reality.

 

"You'll get your belongings back, minus one particular item, once you finish answering my questions." The voice continues on as if that was my only concern. He places a bottle of water in front of me and is out the door without a second glance.

 

Fuck.

 

I cross my arms, careful of my pretty bracelets, and rest my head. Even in my drunken state, I know that my next high will be a hell of a lot further away than I want it to be. I ignore the bottled water and close my eyes, praying to God that I wake up in my apartment tub.

 

 

LINE BREAK

 

 

A door creaks loudly, waking me. I must have slept through the day because I'm years more sober than I want to be. I look around the room in confusion and finally my eyes land on the Roman vampire before me. Images of last night fly through my head, and I slowly come to realize how much shit I'm in. Worse off, there's no Damon to save me.

 

He sits in the chair opposite me, a handkerchief held out. I take a second to realize that I'm no longer in handcuffs, and my face feels tight and dry, like I left a face mask on too long. I take the handkerchief with a grateful nod and wipe my face. I'm embarrassed that anyone has to see me like this, much less the gorgeous boy before me.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Ms. Cane, where did you get the V?"

 

Well, he doesn't waste any time. He must have seen my ID, so I don't bother looking confused.

 

"From a vampire." My brain is hazy. I don't want to talk to him.

 

"Drink some water. Where is this vampire now?" I keep my face stoic and do as I'm told, eager to leave this rancid place.

 

"No. He gave it to me." I make my voice soft and childlike in hopes that he'll leave me alone.

 

"Who gave it to you?"

 

"My friend." He gave a look to my vagueness, silently demanding me to elaborate.

 

"His name was Damon and he's gone now. So it doesn't matter where I got it from, I can't get it again." Tears prick my eyes at the mention of his name. I’m quick to use my tears to my advantage.

 

“Do you have any food?”

 

A soft sigh escapes him. He’s obviously frustrated with me. The fact that he’s actually leaving to find me food means I must have something valuable to him.

 

If only he knew just how irrelevant I am to him. No information from me would be considered valuable, and the second he realizes how much of a waste of time I am, he’ll let me leave.

 

I lean back and study the white room. The only furniture is the metal table and two chairs. There is another white door.

 

I stand to open the door out of curiosity to find a plain, but clean, bathroom.

 

He really went all out when making this nifty room. He also works with the police so he must be important.

 

I’d give it an hour before he lets me go home.

 

Just as I sit back down, the boy comes through the door, a bowl of cereal in his hands.

 

“Who is Damon?” This guy doesn’t waste any time.

 

“He’s no one.” Even though the words pass my lips, I know they’re untrue.

 

 

 

LINE BREAK

 

 

 

I sit at a bench, enjoying the view of a lit up square. Trees, benches, and endless fountains surround me. Earbuds in, I nod my head to the music and attempt to glue the incredible view to my mind.

 

Noticing how late it is, I make my way to the exit with full intentions of going home. Just before I reach the street, a mysterious stairway hidden by trees catches my eye, and my love for adventure takes over. My inner thrill for discovering new scenes overcomes me, and I make a beeline for the secret hideaway.

 

Looking up, I see it's at least twenty stories high. There is a gate reading ‘HOTEL STAFF ONLY’ blocking the stairway. It’s too tall to jump over, and the gaps aren’t wide enough for me to crawl through.

 

I move to the side of the railing and jump to catch the metal frame. Pulling myself onto the platform, I jump again to the next railing, eventually making my way to the roof. I finished my hike only slightly out of breath. With adrenaline still pulsing through me, I run to the opposite ledge, leaning over. The view from so high up is beautiful, and you could almost see the stars over the city lights. I'm so engaged by the beauty that I almost jump off, when I hear a voice speak over my music.

 

"Do you truly enjoy the view?" I whip my head around to see a young boy. Our eyes meet and I can see he’s dead inside. A streak of fear passes me, and I have to stop myself from bolting. He must have sensed it, because his hands fly up in defense, showing a small gesture of surrender. I remove my earbuds and eye him for a moment, judging his integrity.

 

"I do." I keep my answer short and curt. I turn my back to him, and eye the cement below, searching for an escape route if things get messy.

 

Nothing to climb down, it would have to be a prayer and a jump. Something I don't think I'd survive.

 

I glance over my shoulder to find him still standing there, only a little closer. I don't like where this is going. I start to walk around the vampire, mindful of my distance from him, to the stairs I just climbed.

 

I successfully make my way around him, and I’m only a step away from the stairway.

"Please, don't go." It’s so quiet, I almost didn't hear it. I look over my shoulder to him, confusion clear on my face. "Will you take my soul?"

 

I wasn’t expecting that. Be my meal, spend the night with me, let me kill you… but no, he wants me to kill him? Who the hell does he think he is?

 

His incredulous question drives me to turn completely. I stalk towards him, stopping only a breath away, searching for any malicious intent.

 

"And just why would any vampire volunteer themselves like that?" My bright blue eyes darken to their naturel red state, hands drawn to my hips. Above his head lies a simple hourglass laying on its side. As per all vampires, as long as he’s not killed, he could live forever.

 

"I've seen many things in my time, and I've done many things that cannot be forgiven. I need to repent for my sins, and what better way than to die an unholy death?" His eyes plead to me, begging me, just take him and do away with his life. It would certainly be a payday if I did, but it's still considered murder, his people would want justice.

 

"No. Our kinds don't mix, and I'm sure you have loved ones that will seek me out. You have a long life ahead of you; you should use it for good. If you feel such a desire to repent, why do you not seek a church?" A breeze comes from behind me, and he does everything he can to not scrunch his nose. I sigh, and take his disgust as my sign to leave. Without a gate blocking me, I trot down the first set of stairs.

 

I make it to the third platform to find him waiting for me, standing directly in the middle, leaving no room for me to pass him. I mind my distance from him, reminding myself that behind his pretty face are fangs that aren't afraid to hurt me.

 

"I do apologize; I do not mean to insult you. Please reconsider, I can grant you immunity to any other vampires, and I can give you money. I have plenty to give, and you certainly wouldn't have to wait tables anymore."

 

His eyes are screaming at me to help him, poor guy. I wish I could help him, but-

 

"Wait, how do you know I wait tables?" I'm startled that he knows this, but his eyes tell me so much that I no longer fear him. Besides, if he wanted to kill me, he would have done so by now.

 

"As sheriff of this district, it is my duty to know of all supes in my territory. That includes demons, which includes you."

 

So, if he was with the authority, then he couldn't touch me without facing his council. Immunity might actually be an option now... My hand goes to my chin, reconsidering his proposal.

 

It all comes back to the fact that it's still murder. I’ve yet to take a life, and I don’t plan on changing that.

 

"Hmph. Tell me, o wise one, why have you not just walked in the sun? Why actively seek me out, when you could do it yourself?" I cross my arms over my chest, defensive of the vampire.

 

He looks down for a moment, shame clear on his face. So he already tried that. Now I can't leave him alone. I inhale deeply, making a sound decision.

 

"Let's sit. Tell me of your 'oh so terrible' stories."

 

And we did. We ended up sitting until it was time for the sun to rise. He spoke of what little family he has, and some of his adventures with his son. Fortunately, nothing too serious came up in topic, something I was extremely grateful for.

 

By the end of our chat, he had a small sense of hope about him.

 

"Would you like to meet again? I'm sure you have a few more horror stories to tell before your time is up." The words escape me before I really think about what I'm asking.

 

I look to his face in time to see a small glimmer of excitement, and all sense of regret disappears. He's handsome, sure, and our talks are intriguing enough. Though our kinds didn't mix, I couldn't see the harm in talking to him again.

 

 

LINE BREAK

 

 

That was only a year ago. I don't remember much more than meeting him a few more times. Each night, I would promise to take his life the next time we met. It didn't take long until he began asking about me, what I've seen in my life, and what I did to get to Dallas. I told him of my lack of family, and my simple existence, only sharing as much as he did.

 

To this day, I can't remember his name or what his face looked like. It kills me to know that he's out there somewhere waiting for my return. Sometimes I think that he never existed, and it was my loneliness that created him, but my dreams refuse to believe that. If it weren't for these damn dreams, I would be a happy person, just living life as a traveler, like I did before I ‘met’ him.

 

My heart swells thinking of him. I take another bite of my cereal, exaggerating my chewing to buy some time. The handsome boy sits patiently in front of me, while I sip the rest of my bowl.

 

"When was the last time you spoke to 'Damon'?"

 

I debated telling him that Damon might not exist, but thought better of it.

 

"I don't remember. He's gone, so why does it matter?"

 

"Was he killed, or self-inflicted?" His voice takes a harsh tone. He's getting fed up with me.

 

"I don't remember. He's just gone." I shrug, wanting this to be done with.

 

"Ms. Cane, it is very important that you tell me where he went. Please cooperate, or face the consequences." He looks very stern and almost menacing.

 

"What do you have to do with any of this? It's not like it's your blood at stake." I’m done playing these games. His beautiful face just tugs at my heart strings. I haven't found anyone this attractive since Damon. Looking at him felt as if I was betraying him, and it just reminded me of my stupid dreams even more.

 

"You see, Ms. Cane, it _is_ my blood, which is why it is imperative that I find the culprit and put a stop to this. I will not have some demon stop me from finding the thief who caused this." Something must have popped in him.

 

He stands, speaking an ancient language. Something I haven't heard in centuries. It was almost soothing, if not for the string of curses here and there.

 

"Eric!"

 

Hey! Something I understood! He storms out, and in comes a tall, blonde, man. Thinking back, I’ve only been talking for about 10 minutes. I think I might have beaten my record by about a half hour! This is the quickest I’ve ever been released from custody!

 

But if I’m leaving, why is he holding a silver chain? Panic sets in and I’m on my feet, pulling furniture between myself and the giant.

 

“It will be much quicker if you come to me.”

 

“Why aren’t you letting me leave?” Police wouldn’t do this, nor would the authority. This guy must be AWOL or something to be able to pull this off.

 

With vampire speed, he is behind me in an instant, painfully pulling at my hair. I thrust my palm in his face, effectively breaking his nose. A grunt escapes him. His hand grabs my wrist and twists it taut behind my back. He kicks the back of my legs, sending my knees to the floor. His knee pierces my spine, forcing my breath from me and keeping me in place.

 

Once in chains, he takes a moment to wipe the blood from his healed nose. “Feisty. I like that in my meals.”

 

He drags me to another room with silver walls and a metal floor. Ice seemed to embrace every visible surface.

 

Thrown to the floor, I curl into a tight ball, desperate for warmth. There are icicles hanging off the AC vent, and the hard floor offers no chance of keeping my body heat. Fucking vampires.

 

The blonde slams the door behind him, effectively taking away any form of light with him.

 

The minutes go by, and I feel my lips go numb. I can feel ice on my lashes, crashing against each other, every time I blink. The hairs on my arms are standing on edge, and I can't stop from shivering in my revealing club clothes.

 

I crawl with little strength to the door, pushing and pulling in the dark room, desperate to escape this horrid ice box.

 

With no luck, I crawl into a tight crouch, sitting just next to the door. What the hell did I do to deserve this?

 

I move to wipe my face, but the smell of blood stops me.

 

Realizing whose blood it is, I eagerly lick my palm, lapping every frozen drop from my hand. If I’m going to be here, I might as well enjoy it.

 

The world returns to the pleasant void I crave. Less thoughts pass my mind, and more dreams of Damon. Although I love being with him, I can only be with him in my dreams.

 

When you’re stuck in reality, dreams don’t come true. If a dream can’t come true, then how is it any better than a nightmare?

 

 

LINE BREAK

 

 

“What are you doing?!” I can’t help but laugh! Thanks to him, we were able to sneak into an Indian wedding. Now he’s belly dancing with the bridesmaids! What makes it so hysterical, is that he isn’t bad!

 

He waves a hand to me, inviting me to join. A blush crawls to my face, and I find myself dancing to him in time with the Hindi music.

 

Before I can make it to the dancefloor, the room floods with light. I’m blinded for a moment by a silhouette in the doorframe. Fresh tears stream down my face. My dream is ruined.

 

My vision clears to find none other than Damon in the doorway. I jump to my feet, anxious to see if it’s really him, or a continuation of my dream. My sore joints scream for me to stop, but my desperation and the blood from the vampire push me to get an answer.

 

I rush to meet him, but upon seeing his face more clearly, I stop dead in my tracks.

 

All energy leaves me. I fall to the floor, exasperated by my captor.

 

“You had to ruin it, didn’t you?” I felt completely sober. This vampire’s blood isn’t nearly as strong as my usual stash.

 

"Where did you get it from?"

 

“Your minion.” At this point my tan skin had paled and you could clearly see my blue veins.

 

“Eric would not give you my blood. Where did you get it from?”

 

…That could have been bad.

 

“Uuh, I got it from Damon, like I said earlier.” I play it off, hoping he doesn’t realize my mistake.

 

 

"Like I’ve already told you, I don't know and I can't get any more because he's gone. I don't know where he is, or how to find him. I've told you what you've wanted, now release me." I glare up at him from my ball of warmth, spitting words through my chattering teeth. In my dream state, I wasn’t bothered by the cold. Now that I’m sober, I want nothing to do with this horrid ice chest.

 

He seems to ponder for a moment before turning away. He was halfway through the door when I call out to him.

 

"Please don't go.” He stops, glancing at me over his shoulder. I take a deep breath before explaining.

 

“I'd rather die than have to go another minute without him. He does nothing but haunt my dreams and plague my life. Please, just kill me if I am of no further use to you." I beg to him, desperate to be rid of my living nightmare.

 

He reaches down with his vampire speed and grips my ankle. I don't even have the energy to kick or fight, so I go limp, like a rag doll, allowing him to drag me out of the ice box. The ice floor scrapes against my face, and is eventually replaced with carpet, then tile.

 

I'm back to the small room from before. He sits in one of the three chairs, patiently waiting for me to get up. I look up at him, sorrow evident in my red, scratched face. He ignores me, staring at the wall straight ahead of him.

 

How could anyone be so cruel?

 

"What is your name?" I sound pitiful.

 

"Godric."

 

"What made you so cruel?"

 

He doesn't bother answering me.

 

"There will be a woman in here shortly. You will be courteous to her, and you will answer all her questions." He doesn't bother looking my way. I slowly stand up and sit in the chair across from him.

 

I stare straight into his grey eyes. I want him to see my face. I want him to see what his actions have done to me.

 

A small knock at the door interrupts my silent interrogation, and a petite female makes her way to the other chair across from me. Godric stays in the room, I assume for safety reasons.

 

"Hello, I'm Sookie, pleasure to meet ya!" She eyes the redness of my face before offering her delicate hand. Thinking nothing of it, I reciprocate the hand shake.

 

"Genevieve. Nice to meet you." I keep my voice even, making sure not to give anything away. She's cute enough, with her big bosom and small frame. Blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin and -oh shit she's fae.

 

A flash makes its way to my mind. A memory of a younger me. Bloody wings being ripped off me, looks of disgust surround me.

 

A shudder runs through my spine, and I try to keep a calm exterior. How dare you pull a memory from me without asking! Where are your manners?

 

Sookie blinks for a moment, processing the information. The worst part about being a demon? The inability to block anymore. I could already feel her digging around more, trying to find answers. She keeps her grip on my hand, and with Godric there, I doubt I could get away with not complying.

 

"When was the last time you saw Damon?" Straight to business. At least she's not digging for my past anymore.

 

Words weren't needed as I passed the image to the fairy. A large cage, silver chains, a man who's face I can't recall. Another man speaking, and I can sense the sadistic vibe he gives. I'm released and I'm desperate to look back, to get one final look at… and it's gone. The memory runs like a blank tape.

 

I make eye contact with Sookie, sorrow in my features. She looks to Godric and shakes her head somberly. I have nothing relevant to him. Just as I had predicted. I can see the temptation in Sookie. She wants to stay. To ask about my wings. I look to Godric, waiting for the final nod granting my release.

 

"She has nothing… but he could still be back there! Maybe if we try to jog her memory, she'll remember where they were!" What is she thinking?! I’m not necessary to solving his stupid case! There’s no reason to hold me captive!

 

"Godric, it's not worth it! He's gone; I've been searching for him for a year now. Either he's gone for good, or he doesn't want to be found." The irony, I must seem like the devil on his left shoulder, and Sookie the angel on his right. I pray he decides to let me go, instead of running on this wild goose chase.

 

He takes his time answering, considering the facts carefully. "I think it is worth getting a sorceress to help." He stands up and walks out the door without another word. He leaves the door wide open.

 

While he probably left it open for Sookie to follow him, I hurriedly cross the room to catch up to him. I'm not about to sit around to be put in the ice box again. I stay close behind Godric, Sookie coming after me, a moment later.

 

We walk into a pristine white living room where three more vampires sit around a glass coffee table. Sookie passes us to stand next to a brunet male. The tall brunet keeps his face in Sookie's hair, inhaling deeply. The other vampires are noticeably holding their breath. I stay behind Godric, mindful to keep a distance from him. He's probably holding his breath too.

 

"Get Ms. Christine here as soon as possible. We may have a lead on who the seller is." He barks orders with a sense of authority. He must be their nest leader. The Hispanic female vampire has a phone out; dialing a number faster than my eyes can follow. Her accent is clear as she speaks to 'Ms. Christine'.

 

"Yes please, as soon as possible."

 

Godric turns to me.

 

"Until you bring me to the seller, you will stay here. You are welcome to any food you find, and you will sleep where I tell you. You are not allowed to leave. Is that understood?"

 

I nod, not bothering with a reply. If he can hurt me so much without a sense of remorse, then he can live with me not talking to him. He had his moment to explain himself and apologize, and he wasted it.

 

I walk off to the kitchen, ignoring everyone else in the room. If I'm going to stay, then I'm going to stick as close to my usual regime as possible. Sookie walks in a moment later to find me scouring the cabinets for food.

 

"Bill and them are talkin' business, so I thought we'd chit chat in the meantime." She has a genuine smile and seems nice enough. I eye her up and down, duly noting the flower themed fabric. I shrug and resume my raiding. They didn't have many options, but I eventually found cookies and milk. While not much better than booze, it's still enough to satisfy my growling stomach. Sookie has made herself comfortable at the dining table, so I might as well play nice and pour her a glass.

 

She asks about my family and where I'm from, things I could care less for. I keep my answers simple and short, effectively evading her from wanting to ask more about my life. She makes up for it by talking about her passed grandmother, her brother Jason, and her life with Bill. It's interesting enough to keep my attention.

 

Our conversation is cut short by a loud knock at the door. Godric opens the door to reveal a tall, frail, older woman, with eyes that seemed to follow your every move.

 

I can tell by just looking at her that I wouldn't like this witch.


	2. Chapter 2 He Can't Remember. I Can't Forget.

CHAPTER 2

 

_High, to Keep From Missing You_

 

She sniffs the air noisily, pointing her hooked nose to the ceiling.

“What’s burning?” her voice is raspy and airy, signifying her old age. I give a light cough, calling her attention to me at the dining room table. Her eyes trail to me. “Oh.”

I knew I wouldn’t like this witch.

“Ms. Christine, we need your help to recover this girl’s memory.” Godric is the first to break the awkward silence. He approaches the old broad and guides her gently towards the table.

Oh! He’ll be so gentle with an old broad, but can’t even give me the courtesy of walking myself out of the freezer? Asshole.

I keep my hands folded in my lap and my back stiff, careful not to show how nervous I am. All eyes are on me, and I feel like I’m on trial. For what? For drugs? So arrest half of America, there’s no reason to single me out.

Why _am_ I being singled out? This is kidnapping! I shouldn’t be here, and I shouldn’t have to be here. You know what? I don’t have to put up with this!

“She’s gonna run!” Sookie’s obnoxious voice halts my thoughts.

Shortly thereafter, the side of my face meets the table with a thud. At least he was nice enough to not break my nose.

Godric’s hand grips my hair tightly, and my right arm is twisted painfully behind my back.

“She will not. She will stay here until this case is resolved.” Despite his hold on me, his words are calm and full of authority.

I make eye contact with Sookie and send her the nastiest look I can muster. _I’ll remember this, fairy. I shared cookies with you._

Godric’s hand forces my head so that my chin is on the table, craning my neck to make eye contact with the witch. A glance of sympathy passes her, but it’s gone as quickly as it comes.

I glance above her head, out of curiosity, and see she’s maybe 10 years away from meeting her end.

Sookie reaches for my free hand. I jerk away, but a quick jerk from my hair inclines me to behave.

Christine leans over the table, and stares deep into my eyes. Just like at the club the other night, a mysterious trance comes over me. I relax completely, unblinking.

For a moment, it’s like I know her. Like I know her past, her family, as if I grew up with her. I see her as a child casting her first spell in a game of tag. I see her telling her parents, the rage on her father’s face. The shame in her mother’s eyes. It continues to her running away and traveling the world on her own. Her first crush is a suave youth by the name of Felipe in the streets of Paris. Him breaking her heart and her dumping his body over a bridge. She continues her life, living lavishly through manipulation, occasionally missing her former life of innocence.

Her soul is young and full of life, but her body is failing her. She doesn’t know why her magic forces her in this body, just that it does. She eventually meets Godric at a lavish party. They dance and she tries to take his money. He stops her and forces her hand, making her indebted to him.

It plays through until just an hour ago. She left an amazing hand of poker with a huge pot of money just because she saw Godric’s name on her phone.

The tables turn and my life plays before my eyes, just as it had for her. Visions of playing with my sister, family dinners, being top of my class, my first time guarding a human, all run like a reel pulling the past to its most present state. Scenes of my sister falling in love, our parents finding out, they beg her to stop, she still meets him. She is held captive, and he wants to help her. I help them escape, and held in trial. My wings are ripped from me, I fall to the ground, I travel and explore the incredible human world. I make it to Dallas and land a job as a waitress.

Then nothing. Just white space and white noise.

It suddenly jumps to me leaving a church with a bag of blood. I continue my life where I left off. Waiting tables, exploring places, waking from these beautiful adventures with a mysterious man. The frustration and the crying and the heartbreak. The first time I tried the blood, it escalating to drugs, then a drinking habit, then the clubbing, up until now.

The trance is broken, and I come back to reality gasping for air. My head is on fire, and Godric’s grip on my hair hasn’t weakened, making it worse.

Sookie has retreated to herself. I use my newly freed arm to dig my nails into Godric’s hand. He removes his hand from my head, but keeps my arm firmly locked behind me.

With his grip gone, I rest my head on the table, suddenly exhausted, breathing heavily.

“My usual method of payment will need adjusting for this request. She has a very strong spell on her, one that takes years of experience to cast. Whoever did this is not someone to be taken lightly. I need time to prepare for this. I’ll be back tomorrow night.” Christine’s voice breaks through the tense atmosphere.

It takes a second for me to comprehend. I have a spell on me? So Damon is real? He’s not just a figment of my imagination!

An audible gasp comes from left, and I know Sookie is reading my mind again.

“Mind your business, fairy.” Tears prick my eyes in both pain and relief. I couldn’t care less about what situation I’m in, just the fact that I know he’s real brings me happiness. I’m not just a crazy drunk, my use of drugs is not in vain, there’s a reason for my nightmares! Tears of joy come to me, and I let out an unexpected sob.

Godric seems to freeze completely upon the realization that I’m crying. He releases my arm and takes a step back, as if my tears would burn him.

I take this moment to excuse myself, making my way to the sink. I splash the refreshing cold water on my face, feeling renewed. If he exists, it could mean he’s alive. If he’s alive, he wouldn’t want to see me like this. Goodness, I need to find him!

I turn back to the conversation to find Sookie curled up in a corner, sobbing.

The hell did I miss?

“One person is a lot to take in, but she had to take two. Two Immortals at that. She’ll feel better by tomorrow.”

 The witch stands and shows herself out the door in no time. Sneaky bitch, you didn’t need help getting to the table. A smirk finds itself on my lips at the thought of the conniving witch. It drops almost instantly at the thought of her dumping Felipe over the bridge. Not that he didn’t have it coming to him, just the way she was laughing while doing it.

A shudder runs through my spine at the thought of the crazy witch. Too bad she doesn’t know she has a late form of Progeria. She would be fine and live much longer if she didn’t use her magic, but she wouldn’t do that even if she knew. She loves her magic more than her life. To each their own, I guess.

My attention is brought back to Sookie after she lets out a loud sob. The brunet vampire has his arm around her, consoling her. Godric stands close to the wall, his lip curled up ever so slightly.

“Sookie, are you OK?” Her blonde head lifts to meet blue eyes. She lunges to me, wrapping her arms around me, sobbing loudly to my chest.

“I’m so sorry! They should have never done that to you!” Just as quickly as she came, she steps back, smacking my arm repeatedly with every word.

“He loved you, how could you?! You abandoned him! You didn’t even try to look for him!”

I grip her tightly by her arms, preventing her from thrashing any more.

“That’s my business, you may feel like you know the whole story, but that form of bonding does not transmit emotions, nor does it transmit thoughts. What we see is what you see, that’s it.” It’s a little embarrassing having to treat her like this, but necessary to get her to understand.

Sookie nods and embraces me one last time before going back to her vampire.

“For now we must wait. There is not much else we can do until we hear back from the sorceress. The sun will be up in a few hours. We will reconvene tomorrow. Until then, I will have arrangements made for you. Eric, you shall stay at my nest. Miss Sookie, for the sake of your privacy, I will set up arrangements at the Hotel Carmilla-”

I was on my knees in an instant, grasping my aching head, a cry escaping my lips. I don’t know what caused this, but it’s almost unbearable. My heart begins to burn and swell in my chest. I feel paralyzed, unable to even gasp.

“I think you and Bill should go. Isabel, please show them out.” Godric has me in his arms and in what looks like a study just a moment later. He crouches next to me on the floor, an arm around my shoulders as a sign of comfort.

“What you feel, I feel.” His voice is deep and husky. He sounds furious. “This means that I must have taken your blood as well. If you have ever worked as a feeder now is the time to say so.” His voice is menacing to my ears. He is paused, waiting for my response. My pain is slowly dissipating, but not enough to speak yet. He chooses this time to further explain. “You reacted to the name of that hotel. You could have been a feeder from there, and not remember. It is possible that that location is where you were able to eject my blood.” He sounds more like he was just thinking aloud now. “The only piece that doesn’t make sense is the simple fact that I haven’t fed in quite a few years. I doubt this has anything to do with you being a fallen angel.”

I flinched at the title.

“My blood is repulsive to you, it’s impossible for you to bear the smell, what makes you think you would handle the taste? Or any vampire for that matter. I’ve been this way for a long time. Almost as long as you have been alive. Or dead.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the last part. My pain is completely gone now, and I am left with my tired gaze. He takes this time to remove himself from me and make his way to his desk.

I take this opportunity to observe my surroundings. The theme seems to be cherry wood and dark grays. There is a fireplace opposite of his desk, and a couch adjacent to that. There is a crystal chandelier above us, and modest lighting to accent the room itself.

He sits at his desk, fingers intertwined in front of his face. His face is scrunched in a nasty scowl.

“Don’t think too hard, you might hurt yourself.…” He glares at me from behind his hands.

“Don’t be a fool and fight battles you will not win.”

“Is that a challenge?” I’m on my feet now, making my way to his desk. I have my hands on my hips, a smirk plastered on my face, and determination in my eyes.

So lemme just tell y’all. Doing that was a really bad idea. Like, tremendously bad.

He had me by my neck, feet off the floor, in a millisecond.

Of course, I start clawing at his arm, which only causes him to tighten his grip. He moves us so we are against a wall now, his body pressed against my legs. He growls deep and low, obviously pissed. I release his arm and claw down his face in a half assed attempt to strike back. He easily catches my wrists, using a single hand to restrain both of mine. His fangs are out and he glares through crazed eyes. The word feral described him perfectly.

Even though I’m gasping for air, I have no fear for him _._ I mean, I’m in a really bad position and am probably going to have many bruises, yet I don’t have an ounce of actual fear of him. I relax in his grip, and usually this proximity would have me feeling nervous, but instead, for some reason, I feel at ease. I might even go as far as using the word comfortable, if not for the fact that I can barely breathe.

A second passes, consisting of him growling and me pouting at my defeat.

He must have sensed the obvious lack of fear, because he releases me almost immediately. I fall in a heap on the floor again, coughing for the much needed oxygen.

He glares down at me from a foot away. I could see the disdain in his features, his stance suggesting he is prepared for attack. I could do nothing but look up curiously at him.

“You are authority, you can’t touch me without facing your council.” I explain his lack of intimidation. Huh. I feel like I’ve said that before. I recall my first time meeting Damon. He said he was something with authority. I can’t quite recall exactly what his position was.

“Godric, I’ve said that to him. I remember when I first met him, he said he knew who I was because he was with some authority.”

He takes a moment before responding, clearly calming himself from the momentary adrenaline rush. His reply is well calculated and articulated perfectly. “You will sleep in the room across from my study. You will tell me anything you remember, no matter how insignificant you might think it is. The sun will be rising soon. You are welcome to roam the halls. Do not attempt to entered a room with the door closed and do not speak to anyone of your situation. Am I clear?”

I nodded numbly, not sure what to do. He exits the room, expecting me to follow. We enter a new room a door down from his study. It holds a king bed in the center, with a nightstand on either side. A small armoire sits in the corner and a 46” TV lays on the wall opposite of the bed. Another door leads to either a closet or a bathroom. Neither which I found I care for, as a sudden exhaustion comes over me.

“You will stay here. I will have fresh clothes delivered in the morning for you.”

He leaves without another word, shutting the door behind him. I take this opportunity to face plant the bed, and I’m out like a light.

 

LINE BREAK

 

I wake up to silence. I glanced at the clock sitting on a nightstand.

 5:14pm

“Shit, did I sleep or what?” I rise from the luxurious bed. The cyan blue and silver accents of the bed went along well with the white wash walls and teak woodwork.

I stretch and make my way to the mysterious door to find it is indeed a bathroom. After freshening up, I make my way to the kitchen.

I begin roaming the cabinets for sustenance. I can feel my heart swelling in an unknown pain. Going to doctors as a broke supernatural is a little out of the question, so I’ve yet to have it looked at.

Maybe that witch could look at it on the side? I could make it part of the agreement for cooperating. If the stupid vamp is so obsessed with finding the culprit, I don’t see why I can’t take advantage of the situation… Just an itty bit won’t hurt. While I’m at it, I should probably add immunity to my list of requirements. Just because I’m a key to solving his puzzle doesn’t mean he won’t make me pay for doing V in the first place.

The magical item I had been craving since I left the club put all other thoughts to a halt. An onslaught of booze filled my gaze. From rum to tequila, I see many different brands of cognacs and spirits.

I settle for the classic Makers Mark on three rocks, and make my way to the living room. There are shelves with ancient looking artifacts and a few thick books here and there, but none interest me more than the 72” TV hanging in between them.

It didn’t take me long to figure out the remote. A few episodes of House M.D. later, there is the sound of a door opening. Nonchalantly glancing over my shoulder I see a young gentleman enter the house. He has either a receding hairline, or just a really big forehead, something I just can’t decide.

He stops dead in his tracks at seeing me. He is studying my features. Staring me down. He’s looking at me so strangely. That look. The way he’s squinting his eyes. I must be familiar to him.

“And you are?” I try to disguise my discovery and rack my brain for his face.

I must have startled him. “Ah, excuse me, my name is Hugo, I’m just not used to seeing other people here.” I don’t bother returning the introduction. A sudden sense of hostility takes over me. Like I need to kick him out and burn all his belongings.

I turned back to the TV only to be nose to nose with stormy grey eyes. A slight yelp escaped me, causing me to flinch. He sits unmoving, observing me.

“What is it?” His voice is low, for my ears only. I tilt my head in confusion. He side glances to Hugo as if just noticing him.

“Hey Godric, how’s it going?” He sounds so nonchalant. He’s not expecting me to know him.

Godric doesn’t reply, so I answer on his behalf. “Nothing much, just another day gone by.” I rise from the sofa and send a wink to Hugo without skipping a beat. I reach for his hand, concentrating hard on his face from under my lashes. When contact is made, I hear it. It’s below a whisper, but it’s there.

‘ _There’s no way she would remember.’_

That’s all I need to hear. He officially has something to do with this.


	3. What's Love Got To Do With It?

CHAPTER 3

 

_He can’t remember. I can’t forget._

 

 “I’m Genny, nice to meet you.” He’s too shifty to _not_ have something to do with this.

I make a small chit chat with Hugo, and find that he is dating the Latina vampire, Isabel. They’ve been dating for over a year now, and he seems to want to make that overly clear. Good for him.

Godric has made himself comfortable on the couch, feigning interest in the dramatic tv show. No doubt he’s listening to our conversation, desperate to find the meaning of my sudden friendly behavior.

“So now you know why I’m here, if you don’t mind my asking, what’s a nice girl like you doing here with a bunch of vampires?”

“Oh, I’m Godric’s meal of the night.” The words escape me before I can think up a better excuse, but I say it with such a straight face, that it’s unquestionable to Hugo. I can practically feel Godric tensing from the couch.

He visibly falters for a moment; I’m praying that Godric doesn’t say otherwise.

“Oh….” Why is Hugo so surprised? Does Godric not eat? Or maybe he just doesn’t get enough dates, haha.

To further enforce my role, I make my way around the sofa, and sit so close to Godric, that I’m practically on his lap. Chugging my drink, I encourage Hugo to sit with us by patting the seat next to us.

“Godric, I’m glad you feel good enough to eat again! Wait until Eric hears this.” So he’s not eating; no wonder he’s always so cranky. Hugo seems weary, but sits anyways.

As that’s said, the tall blond vampire from last night enters the room. He eyes my obvious proximity to Godric before taking a seat in a lone armchair, away from the crowded sofa.

“I’ve known for a while now. No need to repeat old news.” I flash Eric with hope filled eyes, and his reply is a simple indifferent stare. Despite being Godric’s minion, I admire Eric for his playfulness. Who else would just walk into a room with the enemy, and just roll with it?

Hugo coughs nervously, and I take this as my cue to carry on my personal investigation.

“You have such a familiar presence, I feel like I know you from somewhere. Have you been to Hotel Carmilla before?” I hold back a wince as the painful empty memory passes. I push through the void and focus on the mental contact between Hugo and I.

‘ _There’s no way she could possibly remember, she assured me multiple times.’_

“I’ve been there a few times, why do you ask?”

“Oh, I work there from time to time, just to make a few extra bucks.” Give him some bait…

“Now that you mention it, you do look familiar. Yeah, I’ve definitely seen you working there.” ‘ _Just go with it Hugo, maybe she worked there eons ago, and that’s why I’m familiar, there’s no way she’d know me.’_

… And Capture. The only place in Dallas I’ve ever worked at, is Michael’s Pub. Michael himself assured me that when he called to fire at me for not calling in. That was the day I woke up in that church, and found another job at Del Faux. No doubt I’ll have a message from them too, when this is over.

“Maybe.” I turn back to Godric, who is staring adamantly at Eric. “Your time’s almost up.” I stand up from the couch, and trail my hand along Godric’s arm. “Join me?” My voice is drenched with playful seduction. He follows me, no doubt stoic as ever.

The moment the door from his office closes, I start spewing apologies.

“I’m so sorry for saying that, it was the first thing that came to mind, and why else would a stranger be sitting on your couch? It just fit and I said it without really thinking, I’m so sorry.” I pause, nervously awaiting his inevitable chastisement.

He sits behind his desk, leaning back with arms crossed over his lean chest.

“You needed a cover, it was a stupid one, but it’ll have to do.” No sympathy. Great.

My need to apologize dissipates. I shouldn’t have apologized in the first place, he put me here without a cover, fuck him for leaving me to come up with one.

“ _Anyways_ , I can still kinda-sorta get some messages. He totally knows me from somewhere, and not the hotel. Get this- he kept repeating ‘she shouldn’t remember.’ He definitely has something to do with this.” I want to be excited to finally be useful in his little investigation, but his resting bitch face kills any possible joy.

He’s no better than those buzzkill cops.

He takes a moment to let this sink in. “How can I trust you? How could I believe that you can still read minds?”

A pang of hurt courses through me. It was a split second, but it still happened. “I loved Damon, and I would do anything to have him back in my life. He was the most enigmatic soul I’ve ever met, and I would do anything to find him… or if it came to it, avenge him. He would want me to.” _I'm starting to speak as if he could still be alive. Damn Sookie for putting that thought in my head._

My words seems to move him. That, or he felt the pain too. He rests his elbows on his desk, fingers intertwining. Now might be a good time to bring up my conditions.

"Because I am cooperating so much, I believe I should be granted immunity. And allow me a private moment with the witch. Just a minute, no more, no less." I eye him, speaking quickly, gauging if he'd allow that.

He scoffs at my poor attempt to cover my ass. "You were found with a full liter of _my_ blood, and you expect me to let you walk away from that? More than that, you would like a moment alone with the one person I believe to be able to recover your memories. Tell me, what will you do in that moment? Slit her throat to stop her from talking? Take her soul for yourself, and collect on the years? You must take me as a fool for even bringing up the audacious idea."

My blood pumps faster, and a rush of energy engulfs me. It’s hard not to act on this feeling… Just take a deep breath, don’t let him get to you.

I choose instead to absently browse his bookshelf, pretending that I wasn't upset by his accusation. _It was blood, left for me from the person I love the most, how would I know that it was Godric's?_ My anger passes as soon as I cross a book that was very familiar to me. The title  _The Life and History of Julius Caesar_  stands out to me. Damon would love to talk shit about history books, and I was lucky enough to get the real stories.

I missed him. The full picture is never clear, but I can remember little things, like the sound of his stupid laugh, and the way his teeth were slightly crooked, and the way his eyes got that mischievous gleam when we got in trouble. He'd always talk us out of it though, and come up with some ridiculous trade to keep us safe. Usually something worthless, too.

 _Huh_ _._ The idea of a trade didn't sound too bad at all. _What could I possibly have to give him?_

My first thought came to blood _. _Hugo confirmed my suspicion of him starving himself, so he could be desperate… Even then, my blood smells like acid to him, there’s no way he’d stoop that low. Something a vampire wants… Sex? No, too valuable on my end. I could just not cooperate… But he's stronger than I, and could force me. I want to remember everything too, so that couldn't be an option.__

 There’s not much I can do, I don’t have anything he’d want. This is stupid, why am I here? I don’t have to put up with this.

I cross the room, and twist the handle of the door. I didn't get to open it. Godric has my hand behind my back in a flash. My face is pressed against the door; his voice in my ear.

"And where do you think you're going? You're supposed to be feeding me, _remember_?"

"Then just feed off of me." The words slip through my lips in a breathless manor, before I could even stop them. With his strength, I’m thrown towards the couch. My hands reach to catch myself, just barely preventing my face to collide with the wood frame. I look up, for once having a twinge of fear of him. He looks so confused. I’m frozen, half sprawled on the sofa, like a deer in the headlights. I don't know if it’s safe to move.

"I will not feed from you. You smell."

Those simple words break all tension between us.

Now this, I'm used to. This I can deal with. Damn near two thousand years of being told that, and it stops hurting.

"Thanks asshole, and you're just a pot of sunshine. I'm getting my drink now." This one for whatever reason kinda hurt. Damian never cared how I smelled. He loved me for how I am, not how I used to be.

He allows me to open the door, and I make sure to glare at him the whole way there. Before I walk out fully, I turn to look at him.

"I said that because I remember telling Damon that. He was in danger. He needed me. He didn't want to take from me, so I forced him." I shut the door behind me, stalking down the hall towards the kitchen and living area. It’s dark outside now. I can hear other voices chattering away.

I make a beeline for the kitchen; straight to the cabinet of bliss. A bottle of sweet Amaretto calls my name. I ransack the cabinets for the first cup I can find and chug about 4 glasses in a row. I’m pouring my fifth when a firm hand stops me.

" _Mija_ , I don't think you should be drinking so much." My eyes meet the Latina vampire, Isabel.

" _Es tambien_ , Godric already gave me the O-K." I lie through my teeth. She makes a good point though; I probably shouldn't be drinking out in public like this. I grab the bottle and glass, skipping out of the kitchen with full intentions of hiding in my temporary room. Hugo stops me before I can make a break to the hall.

"Hey, you mind talking for a moment?" He sounds nervous. I wasn't about to miss an opportunity to leave this unusual situation, so I nod, swaying a bit, but determined to find answers.

He leads the way to the foyer, and speaks in a soft voice, obviously trying not to be overheard. "I know you may just be doing this for the money, but I should warn you, Godric has a lover. I just don't want to put you in any drama, is all. She should be here in a few minutes, so I'd leave as soon as I could if I were you." He tried to come off as nonchalant, but my years of dealing with humans trained my ears to hear the desperate strain in his voice.

"Oh, sure thing, I guess I should get going then." I extended the glass to his hand. He reaches for the amaretto, but I’ve already twirled around him to the door. I slam the door shut before he can comment any further.

The first view to greet me is the moon illuminating a line of trees that surrounds the neighborhood of mansions. I know I can't leave completely, or Mr. Snooty-Pants would have my head.

I shift my gaze to inspect the outside of the house. It’s an elegant, one story home. Grey trim accents the simple house, blending in magnificently with the stucco walls. A plain wooden fence sits the perfect climbing distance from the roof.

Tucking the bottle in the back of my waistband, I pull myself high above the fence to the rough tiled roof. T _he sky is vast and star filled, despite the dim lighting of the street lamps. We must be a ways away from Downtown Dallas, if I’m able to see the stars so well._

_I also have a view of the driveway, so I can see who's coming and going. I want to get a good glimpse of this girl, see if she's as drone and boring as Godric._

I lean back, tiles digging into my hands, and look to the night sky. Before I can get too comfortable, I hear a car pull up. I peek cautiously from the roof, keeping mind to lay myself flat.

Out pops the cute blonde fairy, and that brooding looking hubby of hers. ' _Sookie!_ ' Her head snaps in my direction, and I give a small wave from my position. ' _Thoughts only! Hugo's here, and he thought I was a meal for Godric. He told me to ix-nay before some bich-ay got here._ '

The house light reflecting off her face allows me to see her scowl. "Bill, Genevieve is on the roof. She's hiding out from Victoria." I see Bill's lip curl up momentarily in disgust.

_So no one likes this person._

_Interesting._

_‘Sookie, you should keep me updated while in there! You can be like my accomplice in a secret mission!_ ' A mischievous grin spreads across my face, and I'm sure if she could see it, she'd be grinning too.

As I finish this thought, another car turns on the street. All eyes are on the car as it pulls into the driveway. “Speak of the devil.” Sookie gives an exasperated sigh.

' _Oh sweet Sookie, I'll take that as a yes._ '


	4. Whats Love Got to do?

 

CHAPTER 4

 

_What’s Love got to do?_

 

A petite, dark hair, woman steps out of the vehicle. She and Sookie share pleasantries, acting as if they’ve known each other for years. They stride to the front door with linked arms; Bill visibly sulks after them.

This has to be Victoria. Her voice is high and melodic, like she’s singing to Sookie while she chatters on about something or another.

She takes small strides, and makes a point to talk with her hands. Although she lacks in curves, she definitely has a cute face to make up for it. Overall she is attractive in a very cute manor.

So this is Godric’s ‘lover’? She looks too nice to be with someone as cold as Godric. I would have expected a darker personality, but instead, I’m met with a bubbly chatterbox.

Bill follows the girls inside with an unpleasant look on his face. A number of people don’t seem to like her, so she must have some flaws. Godric has the looks, money, and power to get anyone; I can’t understand why he’d be with someone like her.

The door slams behind them. I reach for the Amaretto, taking a long swig before cradling the precious bottle under my arm. I lay back, letting Sookie project her thoughts to me. She’s eager to gossip, thinking at a rapid pace.

‘ _Her and Godric have been dating for about three years now, or so we’re told. We were only introduced to her about a year ago. We all just put up with her because she makes Godric happy. He was actually really close to doing something really stupid, and she stopped him from doing it. Though her personality isn’t the best, we do owe it to her for saving Godric._ ’

‘ _He’s filling her in on everything now. He said you were staying at the hotel, so don’t let her know that you’ve been here the whole time._ ’

He’s lying to the Misses, no surprise there.

‘ _Do you think it’s safe to walk in? I could say that I came with y’all, and took a walk to try and remember something.’_

‘ _That sounds good, but not just yet. Give it another ten minutes. She’s crying and seems really angry about all this._ ’

‘ _Can you read her mind? What’s she thinking?_ ’

‘ _I actually can’t do that unless I’m touching her. Hugo either. Weird, I know, but we try not to think too much into it. It would break Godric’s heart if Victoria ever left him.’_

I hum to myself, taking in this new information. This means Godric has a weakness for Victoria.

Sookie hasn’t said anything else, so she’s probably busy making conversation.

And so I’m alone again.

V doesn’t sound too bad right now. Hell, I’d settle for a joint if I could, but Sheriff Douchebag has my stash, so there’s no getting more… Maybe I could buy it? There has to be someone around who sells it.

Well, who did I get my stash from?

I take a long swig from the bottle.

 _Where_ did I get it from? I can’t recall when exactly I got it, just that it was there for the taking. I’ve had it for about a year now, and I’ve only taken a drop maybe once a week. A liter is a lot, even for an addict. Of course, being the immortal abomination I am, I can’t get addicted, so maybe I used to sell it?

The thought scares me. Maybe I used to sell V, got caught, and was beaten so bad I lost my memories? I remember being so scared that I even stepped foot in a church. Granted, I was already drinking at that point, so I could have just seen it as a place to crash…

I need to weigh my options. If I were actually a drug dealer, I could lose my life going back in that house. Godric could find out I was stealing it from someone and selling it for money. Maybe I’ve killed people for their blood, maybe I had help, or what if I was a lone wolf and had my money stashed from myself because I knew I wouldn’t remember?

Could I get in trouble for something I couldn’t remember?

I tuck the bottle under my shirt and hop onto the closest fence. Vaulting over the multiple fences, I bolt on the nearest street.

My feet take me where ever I can go, turning on street upon street. The maze of a neighborhood finally takes me to line of trees. Small forest means lots of hiding places.

Scenes of the white girl falling over and being the first killed in every scary movie ever passes my mind, reminding me to use more caution. I slow my speed to a fast jog, watching for tree trunks or rocks.

The trees are so thick and tall that it allows very little light. I stop to catch my breath, sitting on one of the many large trunks. I know I don’t have much time before they realize I’m gone, but I have to think of something!

My ears perk to something in the distance, and I’m back on my feet in a flash. I hold my position, ready to bolt at any moment.

Laughter. A high pitched squeal catches my attention as I begin to walk towards the noise. The more witnesses to my inevitable execution, the better.

I get closer to find a group of young teenagers sitting around a small fire. They were laughing so hard that they would periodically start a coughing fit.

Then it hits me. All muscles unclench at the smell.

I hold up the Amaretto from under my shirt and give a small cough. I suddenly have everyone’s attention.

“Hey guys, y’all mind if I take a hit?” I keep a cheesy grin on my face. This could only be a win-win situation. I get to hide out _and get high._

They relax almost immediately. “Dude, you’re hot. I’m down.” Says the boy who eagerly holds out the small joint to me.

“Trade me?” I ask, eager to get my hands on some rainy day stash.

I’m sure my youthful appearance is what makes them trust me so easily. We trade the bottle for a couple of pre rolled joints, and without another thought, I take the deepest hit my lungs are capable of. I hold it for a moment before exhaling, then pass it to the left. I sit on the muddy ground, waiting for the weed to kick in.

“What’cha’ll doin’ out here? Smokin’ the mary-ju-juana and getting’ in trouble, huh?” I let my southern drawl kick in.

“Oh, why no ma’am, only doin’ homework and house work in dis here small town.” The girl across from me speaks with same twang and goofy grin on her face. “Down here in good ole De Soto, Texas, ya see, we need to keep mind of our responsibilities.”

“And mind our hemp, hahaha!” a fit of laughter comes over us, and we were too high to care how loud we are.

I stay there for maybe another twenty minutes, smoking, drinking, and laughing. By chance, I glance up and catch a pair of eyes watching me. A bright gray that seems to shine from the fire. Looking at the face, I could see that the person wasn’t happy.

It’s my turn to take a hit. What will he do?

I exhale, not breaking eye contact. He wouldn’t hurt these kids, would he? I take my second hit before passing it along.

The kids are in their own little world, completely unaware of the danger that sits just behind them.

He points to me before curling his finger. He’s calling me? HA!

I grin in reply. The bottle is passed to me, and I gladly chug a gulp, and then some.

I pull the bottle from my lips to see him gone. I pass it, now curious.

We were playing a game and he just left. Does that mean I win? I quirk my head, confused.

No. I like this game. I want to keep playing.

As if in a trance, I stagger by the kids. He couldn’t have gone far, he must be close by.

I look over my shoulder to the kids. They have no concern for me. I’m just the stranger that passed by.

I turn back to stormy gray eyes. His forehead is all wrinkly, and his lips are in a thin line.

“Be careful, or your face will stay like that.” I wink, smiling up at him, unfazed by his proximity.

“Did you think I wouldn’t catch you?” His voice is low and husky, inviting me to lean closer.

“Catching involves a chase,” I’m quick with a comeback, hoping to coax him from his defensive stature. “Or maybe I was hoping to get caught.” I wrap my arms around him, pushing all my weight on him, gazing at his vibrant gray eyes.

He freezes instantly.

“Godric, I’m sorry I never told you.”

It’s just for a second, but even drunk off my ass, I know what that look means. There was a spark somewhere in his eyes that told me everything was going to be OK. He’s with me again, and I’m not going to lose him again.

“She clearly has a death wish to be leaning on you like that. Let’s drag her back, and let the witch have her already.” This new voice comes from a man in his late twenties with long blonde hair and rippling muscles. I step back, kneeling over from laughing so hard.

“Yaaaaas, let’s go see the witch, maybe she’ll help me remember!” I giggle gleefully at the thought. Before another fit of laughter could consume me, I’m swept in the arms of the gray eyed boy.

“Godric.” A soft smile takes over, a warmth fills my chest, and I can’t look away.

“Let’s go.” The blonde takes off in a sprint towards, what I can only assume, is the direction of civilization.

“If you run like that, I’m going to throw up on you.” I dead face Godric, knowing full well he can see every crevice on my face.

He spares a glance to me, considering his options. A long sigh later, he begins on the short trek back.

I look up towards the sky, away from him. A certain constellation caches my eye, and I can’t help but gasp.

“I remember when we used to stare up at the sky. For hours we would sit there and share old stories about the stars. My favorite is the one about Gemi-“

“I don’t care.” His sharp voice cuts through my words. Somehow, I knew going to him would be a bad idea. He doesn’t look like himself. That’s what I get for trusting my instincts, I can’t believe I thought he was Damon! I almost told him I loved him! I’m never making that mistake again.

Two long minutes later, I’m being dropped, ungraciously mind you, on the front step of his home.

I pick myself up and walk inside without another word. I head straight to the liquor cabinet and grab the first bottle I see. He ruined my high, and I don’t want to be sober for all this mumbo jumbo.

“Genevieve, where have you been? It looked like you just ran off on us!” Sookie grabs my shoulders with this hurt look on her face, as if I betrayed her.

“I did. I am considered a criminal here, remember?” The words rolled off my tongue like venom. I take another swig from the bottle, shrugging from her grasp.

The old hag sits at the table, a curious gaze in her eye. I sit opposite of her, holding out my hands.

“Christine.” I nod my greetings. Since out mind bond, I can’t help but respect the witch.

The vampires and Sookie stand around the table, waiting for something dramatic to happen.

Christine reaches over the table, and I can see she’s upset about something. I want to ask her, but I’m too pissed to care.

She gives my hand a gentle squeeze before chanting. Her voice is soft and foreign, and reminds me of my early years in this life.

Then everything disappears. I can still feel the old hag’s hands on mine, and the table under my arms, but my sight and sound are completely gone.

“ _Damon.”_

A piercing ring is in my ears and a sudden flash of brightness fades into the reality before me. I can see everyone staring at me. I look around, dazed. The ringing slowly fades, and I am met with silence.

I inhale. The witch is looking expectant. I exhale.

 I remember a boy. Godric. In silver chains. Yelling, crying, fear, anger, fear, happiness, relief, my whole life is passing through my eyes, and it’s gone a moment later.

_Oh God, I left him there._

A hand touches my arm, and I look over to see Sookie. She’s digging. My breathing quickens and all my muscles tighten.

“NO!” I stand, backing away from her, chair falling over. She seems scared of me, but attempts to touch me again none the less.

“Don’t you want to remember Damon?”

_Godric._

I’m shaking. This isn’t right. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t be here.

She reaches me and begins to dig again. Victoria flashes through my mind and a fake image of her and Godric makes its way to the forefront. Them smiling and laughing. My heart begins to hurt. That can’t be right, this shouldn’t be right!

Sookie starts to pull memories. An image of Godric in silver chains. Blood being drained through an IV.

I fight back with her. I begin to push memories of when I was an angel at her. A happy moment when I saw my sister born. Myself, older, playing tag with her. Getting shoved to protect her. Being held down, a burning sensation on my back. The smell of sulfur fills the air, my back aches.

She releases me, eyes wide in shock. She starts to shake, and kneels to the ground, matching me. I take a deep breath and look around. His eyes meet mine, but instead of compassion, there is anger and frustration.

Godric appears in front of me, holding me in the air by my neck. Before I can blink, I am thrown into a room. The floor is cold and sticks to me. The loud rush of wind blowing is heard.

I look up in time for the door to slam and the light to go out.

A sob escapes me.

When did he become so cruel? What made him revert back to this unforgiving monster?

Monster. Oh, the irony. I had to go through so much torture and pain to see his true self. He said he had demons, and I told him, I _promised him_ that I would accept him for all that he is.

I’m a disgrace. I don’t deserve him.

I’m actually grateful to be in this miserable ice box. I take deep shaky breaths, forcing my heart to calm down.

Then the memories drown me.

**Author's Note:**

> Also on Fanfiction.


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